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Home > Faculty & Staff > Administration > University Services >
Human Resources > The Advocacy Program |
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| Jamal attended the opening of a new movie. The theater was crowded and, as luck would have it, the people sitting behind Jamal talked and whispered continuously during the beginning of the movie. Jamal turned around and asked them to be quiet. One of the men told him to shut up and mind his own business. They continued to talk and Jamal once again asked them to be quiet and mentioned that he would get the manager if they didn't quiet down. The man leaned forward and formed a fist with one hand and struck it against the palm of his other hand, saying, "This will shut you up." |
| Jim attended a casual party at the home of one of his friends from work. During the evening, one guest, Alex, grew more and more boisterous and offensive. As Jim walked across the room to the buffet, he accidentally bumped Alex's foot. Alex jumped up and started screaming at Jim. When Jim apologized, Alex grabbed his dinner knife, pointed it at Jim and screamed, "If you don't leave right now, I'll cut you." |
| Jennie and Mark have been hanging out together since the second month of the school year. They quickly became known as a "couple." One night while they were walking home from a movie they began to argue. Jennie had been taught to de-escalate tense situations by lowering her voice, moving away from the angry individual, and talking about the aggressors options. So as the argument grew more heated, she tried to do all these things in turn. Mark was having none of it. He took hold of Jennies arm, and when she tried to turn away, he grabbed her other arm and turned her back to face him. "Let me go!" Jennie asserted. "Dont you dare walk away from me!" he replied, still holding on to her arms. |
| Joe lived in a single apartment, adjacent to a
unit shared by two other men. Soon after the men moved in, they began to harass Joe. Often
they were standing in the hallway outside the apartments when he came home at night,
drinking beer and accosting people in the parking lot or passing by. But they singled Joe
out for special treatment. They called him names, asked him rude questions, and
occasionally blocked entry to his apartment. Joe felt he had been targeted because he
lived alone and became increasingly worried about these encounters. One night he came home and was relieved to see that the men were not in sight. But as he approached his door, they came out of their apartment, where they had clearly been waiting for him. When Joe tried to push past them toward his door, one man held him while the other punched him in the face, then kicked him in the stomach. Joe fell to the ground, whereupon both men continued to kick him. When the attack ended and the police arrived, Joe was curled up on the ground. He had a broken nose, broken ribs and a severe concussion. |
| Jake was the eldest of three boys, the child of
a wealthy but eccentric couple. Jakes mother was frequently ill during his
childhood, and when Jake was 11, his mother died. His father announced that Jake would be
responsible for raising his brothers, ages 8 and 5. Jakes father told him bluntly
that he couldnt cope with the pressures of child-rearing and instructed Jake never
to ask his father for anything. Jake did the best he could. His father was frequently away, however, and would allow no one to "interfere" in the household business. Jake threw himself into the task of nurturing and supporting two small grieving boys. His mothers sister tried to help Jake, but was ordered to "keep her distance" by Jakes father. Despite growing up in a wealthy household, Jake and his brothers were frequently hungry and cold. One particularly cold winter he asked his father for some extra blankets and received a whipping for breaking the rule against "asking." He learned early that it was risky to have needs, and riskier to express them. Jake loved his brothers and did all he could to "bring them up." But by the time they reached adolescence, they became restless with his authority, then actively rebellious. When his youngest brother Ned turned twelve, he was sent home from school for "back-talking" a teacher. When Jakes father learned of the event, both Jake and the youngest brother received whippings and were instructed to sleep on the floor without blankets. The next morning, Jake left home, deciding that life on the street was less bleak than life in the mansion. |
| Janie and Perry had been dating for several
months. Perry had developed an exclusive attitude toward the relationship, which Janie
shared. Janie, however, felt that she should be able to be with her friends from time to
time. Perry insisted that their romantic relationship should always come first. One evening Perry stopped by Janies room, only to be told by her roommate that Janie was in the library, studying for a lab exam with her lab partner, Bill. Enraged, Perry strode into the library and threatened to make a scene unless Janie stepped outside with him to talk. Annoyed but frightened, Janie complied. Once outside, Perry accused Janie of coming on to Bill. Her denials fell on deaf ears. As Janie turned to walk back in the library, Perry shoved her from behind, pushing her into the brick wall. He then grabbed her by the hair and pulled her down to her knees, before running off in a rage. |
| Carla and Gerome had lived together for six months. During the course of that time, they had argued frequently over minor topics. Gerome had a hot temper and Carla usually tried to avoid topics she knew would cause a reaction in Gerome. One night they went out to dinner and Gerome criticized her dress which he said was too short. He accused her of cheating on him and eventually became so enraged the restaurant owner told him to leave. As they drove home, his anger seemed to escalate and he continued to direct his anger at Carla who shrank into the corner of the car. This angered Gerome even more and he began cursing at Carla, telling her all this was her fault, that she had humiliated him in public and deserved to be punished. He drove faster and swerved the car toward the edge of the pavement several times, laughing when Carla screamed. Gerome headed toward the causeway and told Carla he was going to throw her off a bridge. When she began crying and begging him to stop, he hit her in the face. |
| Mandy had been a bright, precocious,
intelligent child. When she was young and "cute," her parents seemed to
love showing
her off. But, as she matured and developed into an adolescent, her parents changed ---
especially her mother. They began to criticize her constantly, comparing her looks, her
grades, and her social behavior to selected peers. They humiliated her in front of others,
never failing to "bring her down a notch." If Mandy ever disagreed with them or
stood up for herself, she was told that she had an "attitude", that she would never
amount to anything and that she didnt have the slightest understanding of how the
world operated. Mandy was delighted to have her first boyfriend at age 16. Luke was handsome, intelligent and charming. He listened to her attentively in the first months of their relationship and she learned to confide in him and to lean on his strength. She felt there was nothing she would not do for him. So Mandy could hardly believe it when Luke began to do the same things her parents had done. He began to take issue with little things about her: what clothing she wore, what colors did and did not become her, how she arranged her hair. Eventually, Luke began to interrupt her when she was speaking, to put down her opinions, and to ask why she couldnt "shape up." Instead of feeling joy in Lukes presence, Mandy began to feel ashamed. And, the more ashamed she felt, the more emotionally abusive Luke became |
| Mary lived off campus, but attended classes on campus. Shortly after moving into her apartment, she began receiving phone calls. Sometimes the caller would hang up, other times he would breathe or laugh or call her names. When she returned to her apartment after work or class, her answering machine would have dozens of messages from her anonymous caller and she found it necessary to unplug her bedroom phone in order to get any sleep at night. |
| Dan stopped at the ATM on the way home from his job off campus. Once he had his money in hand, a large man dressed in black clothes with a ski mask on, rushed up to him and grabbed the money out of his hands. |
"Consent" means intelligent, knowing, and voluntary consent and does not include coerced submission. "Consent" shall not be deemed or construed to mean the failure by the alleged victim to offer physical resistance to the offender. |
| Shannon and a group of friends went out to a club off campus. During the evening, several young men joined the group and one of them, Dave, bought Shannon a drink and danced with her. Later he suggested that they leave the group and go to another club. She agreed. Several hours later, Dave offered to take Shannon home, but wanted to stop at his place first to check on his sick dog. When they got to the apartment, Dave offered her another drink and showed her around the apartment. When they reached the bedroom, he pushed her down on the bed and forced himself on her. |
| Tammy spent Spring break with her best friend,
Sandra, at her parents' home in Naples. Her parents and brother seemed friendly and
welcomed her into their home. One day, Tammy and Sandra were lounging by the pool. It was
very hot and Tammy decided to go into the kitchen to fix cold drinks. While she was preparing the drinks, Sandra's father entered the kitchen and began fixing a sandwich while chatting with Tammy. He complimented her on her bathing suit and asked her if she was enjoying the pool. As they chatted, they moved around the kitchen, working side by side. When Tammy opened a cabinet and stretched up to get a tray she was surprised to feel Mr. Thomkin's arms around her body. His hands grabbed her breasts and squeezed them. She immediately twisted away and when she did, he kissed her on the mouth and pulled her close to his body. |
| Jessica lived in a co-ed dorm and enjoyed the family feeling of having lots of 'brothers and sisters' around. Usually she felt safe and unthreatened. One night while doing her laundry, a male resident came into the laundry room and began loading his clothes into the washer. Jessica sat in a corner reading a magazine and took little notice of the other student. She glanced up when he walked past her to the detergent dispenser wearing boxer shorts. When he returned, he stopped in front of her and removed his underwear. |
| April met Joe in class. He seemed friendly
and after a few weeks asked her out. She was seeing someone else at the time and declined.
Joe continued to talk to her and asked her out a couple more times. Finally, April told
Joe she really wasn't interested in going out with him, because she had a boyfriend back
home. April began receiving several email messages from Joe, every day. She found a note from him which had been slipped under her dorm room door. Joe started showing up in places April spent time after class. He didn't talk to her, but seemed to almost follow her around.
Finally, April sent him an email asking him to stop following her and sending her messages. Joe called her and screamed at her that he had as much right to go places on campus as she did. The calls and messages continued. |
| April met Joe in class. He seemed friendly
and after a few weeks asked her out. She was seeing someone else at the time and declined.
Joe continued to talk to her and asked her out a couple more times. Finally, April told
Joe she really wasn't interested in going out with him, because she had a boyfriend back
home. April began receiving several email messages from Joe, every day. She found a note from him which had been slipped under her dorm room door. Joe started showing up in places April spent time after class. He didn't talk to her, but seemed to almost follow her around. Finally, April sent him an email asking him to stop following her and sending her messages. Joe called her and screamed at her that he had as much right to go places on campus as she did. The calls and messages continued. In desperation, April told Joe that if he didnt stop bothering her she would report it to the police. His messages began including threats to 'make her sorry' and 'show her she couldn't treat him this way' . He told her she better watch her back, that she couldn't hide from him and he would get her when she least expected it. |
| Sam took a summer job with a temp agency
working on websites for a local business. He enjoyed the work and needed the money. After
a week on the job, his female supervisor, Miss Agatha, who had seemed very friendly from
the start, began joking with him throughout the day. She asked him about his love life, if
he was dating any hot chicks and what kind of woman he liked. At first Sam thought this
was strange, but tolerated the comments and questions with good humor. Miss Agatha would
often compliment Sam on his choice of clothes, his hair, and even his muscular physique.
Sam began to feel uncomfortable and started avoiding her. One day Miss Agatha asked Sam to lunch and he declined, saying he had already made plans. Miss Agatha seemed a little angry, but said nothing. The next day, Miss Agatha sought Sam out early in the day and told him she expected him to make time to go to lunch with her that day. She seemed very pleasant but when Sam tried to decline, she told him that he should be glad his supervisor liked him. Sam went to lunch with her, even though he felt trapped into going. |
It is vital that secondary victims attempt to get their needs met appropriately, preferably from an uninvolved party, in order that this burden not fall on the victim. |
| Jake and Laura had been
engaged for a year. During the month before their wedding date, Laura was robbed and raped
at gunpoint by a stranger. Jake wanted to continue with their wedding plans. He loved
Laura as much as ever, and felt that the sooner they formalized their commitment, the
faster Laura would recover from her traumatic experience. Besides, all the plans for the
wedding were in place, deposits had been paid, and Jakes brother, who was to be his
best man, was leaving soon after the wedding to begin a new job out of the country. Laura, however, wanted to delay the wedding. She managed to go to her job, but she wanted to go directly home after work and had no interest in going out at night. She was very distant with Jake, and her former affectionate behavior was distinctly altered. Jake eventually realized that she never reached out to him and only responded to his expressions of concern when necessary. It was almost as if they had never been in love. Jake became alternately despairing and angry about the situation. He found himself wanting to tell Laura to "just snap out of it," but he knew that wouldnt help and would certainly make the situation worse. But Jake felt that his life had been altered forever. He became withdrawn, and began to have trouble eating and sleeping. He began to wonder if he and Laura shouldnt just break the relationship off altogether. |
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